If you are willing to pay attention, stay engaged, and get to know someone, you will be able to find something about them that you appreciate.

I’ve coached baseball/softball for almost 20 years, pausing during practice to do what I like to call the “HonorBucket Challenge.” This practice has never been easy, but it seems to be getting harder.
The concept is simple: one of our players sits on a bucket and the rest of the team circles up around them. We go around the circle and each player says something positive about the player on the bucket.
There are 3 rules:
Everyone must participate
You can’t repeat what someone else said
It must be about the player. NOT their socks, sunglasses, etc.
Seems easy enough, right?
I watched players struggle to come up with something to say, some going as far as switching places in the circle to buy time. I've had to remind them of the rules or encourage them to think past, "You're cool." Sorry, but that Isn’t specific enough.
Trust me when I say it’s waaaaaaay harder than you think.
Take a minute and think about it. If you had to do this about someone you know but isn’t in your “inner circle”. Imagine if you had to do this for one of your co-workers, one of your neighbors, or someone who…..
...wait for it…
…votes differently than you.
Here is what I’ve learned over 20 years and countless “honor bucket” circles:
If you are willing to pay attention, stay engaged, and get to know someone you will be able to find something about them that you appreciate.
That’s why I create space in our practices for players to interact with each other. I make sure players aren't always partnered with the same teammates for drills and competitions.
I’ve watched players who don’t know each other at all, begin to appreciate their differences after a short season. Does this mean they are best friends or will be lifelong friends? Nope. They may never speak again after the season ends.
Does it mean they will never argue in the dugout? Nope. They will.
Does it mean they will realize it’s much easier to be on the team with someone if you take the time to get to know them and see something positive in them? I hope so! My experience over two decades says, "Yes!"
What would it look like for us to incorporate this thinking in our lives, families, and workplaces? I don’t expect you to plop a bucket upside down in your home/office and gather everyone around to say nice things to someone. But what if you made it a goal each day to share something you appreciate with someone you live or work with?
I’m going to guess the first few days will be easy. However, by the time you get to day 4, 5, or 6 your spouse, friends, or coworkers are going to start suspecting you want something or that you did something wrong! Seriously! How crazy is that?
I KNOW this is true because as much as I’ve watched kids struggle to come up with something positive, meaningful, and unique (remember they can’t repeat what someone has already said!), I’ve watched as just as many kids struggle to simply RECEIVE the compliments.
Being positive and encouraging is so rare that people feel weird giving and receiving positive affirmation!
How would it change us and those around us if we were determined not to allow the awkwardness of those receiving encouragement to stop us from giving it? Who are the people in your life who would benefit from taking a seat on an “honor bucket”? Could you incorporate that in your family around the dinner table? If you lead a team at work, could you create a place for your team to share what they appreciate about each other?
I don’t care if they sit on a bucket, chair, or bench. You could even have them wear a shirt or hat you’ve made. I promise you it will change your family, team, or company if you create a little space for honor. It’s one of the best 5-minute investments you can make.
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